MOVIE REVIEW

Abandon logic -- and knowledge of the franchise -- all ye who enter here.

By Glenn Whipp

"Dragonball Evolution" is the movie equivalent of deep-fried sushi, an adaptation of a hugely popular Japanese manga epic that methodically removes every distinctive element from the series in an attempt to appeal to 8-year-old boys in need of a respite from "SpongeBob SquarePants."

Naturally, this mandate of blandness has already alienated every hard-core fan of a franchise that has spawned video games, TV series and anime features. Who's left to care? The final product sits strangely perched between its repeated visions of a "blood apocalypse" and a geeky teen romance straight out of "iCarly." And even the teen part is a stretch, since both the leads are 26.

ADVERTISEMENT

Those leads, Goku (Justin Chatwin) and Chi Chi (Jamie Chung), are in a serious pickle, caught between raging hormones and an evil warlord intent on destroying the Earth. Because the green-skinned Lord Piccolo (James Marsters) looks like a cross between Count Chocula and Jim Carrey's "Mask" character, people have a hard time taking the guy seriously, which is perhaps the reason he dispatches his suede-and-spandex minion (Eriko Tamura) to do most of his dirty work.

Apparently, Lord Piccolo has been imprisoned in the bowels of the Earth for 2,000 years. Having somehow escaped, he wants nothing less than the planet's total annihilation. (Talk about misguided rage.) To stop him, Goku, Chi Chi and their kicky pals Bulma (Emmy Rossum) and Yamcha (Joon Park) must locate seven Dragon Balls, magical orbs that, if combined, will summon a mythical beast who will grant the possessor one wish. Chow Yun-Fat is on board too, chewing up scenery.

Now, it would be reasonable to assume that our intrepid crew would use its wish to banish Piccolo, restore world peace and maybe get some free pizza in the bargain. But reason has nothing to do with this movie. Director James Wong ("Final Destination") and writer Ben Ramsey are utterly blasé in their approach to the series' mythology and structure, cobbling together an 84-minute movie that seems to exist only to rile up fanboys.

On that count -- and that count alone -- "Dragonball Evolution" triumphs.

calendar@latimes.com