MOVIE REVIEW

Vampires meet collegians in adolescent comedy.

By Robert Abele

Romania had it bad enough under communism without seeing one of its atmospheric old castles be location-molested for a moronic college comedy with topless vampires, a leather-clad vampire huntress and horny, pot-puffing American exchange students of indeterminate age.

For those of you who care about the purity of bargain-basement franchises, "Transylmania" is essentially the third in the yawning "Dorm Daze" series of pea-brained "Porky's"-style bacchanals. This one moves the getting-action action and many of the same dopey party animals to the birthplace of bloodsuckers for the kind of humorless adolescent twaddle that mostly sucks the life out of moviegoing.

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Although the inept filmmaking and tiresome gags give the air of coming from one truly bored misogynist, it took two screenwriters (Patrick Casey, Worm Miller) and two directors (David & Scott Hillenbrand) to create this stake through the heart of film comedy. Then again, if your idea of a good time is laughing with repulsion at a humpbacked Romanian nympho with a torture-loving midget dad, or tittering every time a bong appears, a darkened theater awaits you. Like vampires, cruel, creepy sex jokes never seem to die.

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