Sneaux!

A teenage girl with growing pains and a yen for adventure imagines herself in the pages of a gothic romance novel. As the heroine of the steamy book, the girl rises from the depths of squalid poverty in a Louisiana bayou to unimagined riches as a princess in a French palace. Along the way, she meets villains, seducers and true lovers. Oh, did we mention she also becomes a figure skating diva?

And that's just the tip of the iceberg in "Sneaux!," the "SINsational Gothic Figure Skating Musical," book by Tim Garrick, music and lyrics by Lori Scarlett, now in its world premiere at the Matrix. An uneven mess, this show needs a Zamboni.

Kristen Bell plays both Amy, the adolescent romance novel fan, and Sneaux (alternately pronounced "Snow" and "Snox" -- a running gag that cloys), the romance novel heroine who is Amy's alter ego. Bell, familiar to local audiences from her long-running stint in "Reefer Madness," does adorable very well, with scrappy as a close second. However, her most fervid efforts, along with those of a talented cast, can't quite salvage this careening yarn.

The amount of energy and sheer talent that has gone into this ambitious enterprise is mind-boggling. In addition to seasoned and consummately professional cast, Ann Closs-Farley's costumes are hilariously glitzy, Alan E. Muraoka's versatile set meets the story's many challenges, and Rand Ryan's lighting is typically fine, as is John Zalewski's sound, despite severe amplification problems on opening night. David Manning's taut musical direction and Kelly Devine's minimal but lively choreography are also first-class.

Director Andy Fickman, who also helmed "Reefer," knows from camp, and he commits fully to the wackiness of this rambling picaresque comedy. But "Sneaux" is camp in concrete, an ossified parody hailing from the nudge-nudge, wink-wink school of naughty humor. Puerile sexual references seldom rise beyond the sophistication of the schoolyard, and although Fickman's staging contains moments of inspired lunacy, the concentrated silliness ultimately palls.

The acting is so broad, it's actually daring -- or is that the performers overplaying out of sheer desperation? Whatever the cause, the effect on this overlong and overwrought show is hyperthyroidic and strained -- simply too much, and not enough.