House of Merv, 2 p.m. Ah, to be lying by the pool in this blessed heat. On the other hand, how many of these vacationers lying in the sun on a Thursday afternoon know that just one floor up, in a dark, very air-conditioned ballroom, a television reporter is asking an actor: "Am I forgetting or were you one of the first people killed on 'Buffy'?"

That would be Eric Balfour, star of the UPN drama "Sex, Lies & Secrets." Sorry, "Sex, Love & Secrets," they changed the title. The reason I know UPN is a network is because it has this show on weeknights at 7:30 and 10, called "Seinfeld." It stars Jerry Seinfeld, who plays himself, this anal stand-up comedian who hangs out with his friends in a coffee shop. One is named George, another Elaine, another Kramer, his neighbor. How to sum up the show: It's kind of about New York, and the little lies we tell to cover up our insecurities, and odd consumer goods like puffy shirts-oh, forget it, it's too hard to explain.

UPN is also about new shows, of course. To wit: "Sex, Love & Secrets." They're the panel at 2 p.m. According to my UPN notebook (soon to be available on Ebay), it's "set in the small, hip neighborhood of Silver Lake, on the outskirts of Hollywood ... a fresh, edgy, new drama" that "explores the intimate and often complex relationships of a tight-knit group of friends finding out who they are and what they want in life ... "

I have mixed feelings about this show, which by the way I haven't seen. The mixed feelings have to do with the fact one of the executive producers is Daniel Cerone, with whom I used to play in a Tuesday night basketball game, and it's hard not to feel like a bit of a loser, sitting here taking down his comments about "Sex, Love & Secrets," while he gets to be up there, onstage, not having to take down his own comments about "Sex, Love & Secrets," and meanwhile he's getting paid more and is only four chairs down from Denise Richards.

She's the star of "Sex, Love & Secrets." I'm told by my colleague Maria Elena Fernandez that she's not in the pilot much, but then again she was seven months pregnant when they shot it. Richards plays a sneaky and sexy publicist. I'll leave that there. The other people in the show play twentysomethings sexing, loving and secreting in the hotbed of L.A. hip, Silverlake.

This immediately yields cynicism from a reporter who wonders how these twentysomethings (hairdresser, OBGYN, sneaky and sexy publicist, sexy lead singer of a punk band) can afford to live in houses in Silverlake.

When co-creator Michael Gans talks about the young obgyn, the reporter says: "So she's probably $100,000 in debt."

Well, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the real estate listings this morning. Gans, who lives in Silver Lake, goes on to sing its praises as the new home of hip-the East Village vibe, west. So does his co-creator Richard Register. It's Silver Lake this, Silver Lake that with the two of them. OK, OK, I get it, there's music and great places to have breakfast, I should have bought there seven year ago, congratulations, you got in before the bubble.

Gans acknowledges that a show about Silver Lake without any gay characters is a show missing gay characters. Other things he says make me think he doesn't realize where he is: In a ballroom, talking about a UPN show called "Sex, Love & Secrets."

Gans says the show is a "study in human nature. Like a safari in Los Angeles. "We are looking deeper, what is beneath the surface of these characters," he says.

On a show called "Sex, Love & Secrets?" Featuring a hairdresser, a sexy publicist, a sexy punk rocker, that OBGYN who might very possibly be $100,000 in debt? Wrong choice! Get back to the surface! Run for the surface!

Later, the place thins out a bit for "RU The Girl with T-Boz and Chili." T-Boz Watkins and Chili Thomas are of the former girl group TLC, whose third member, Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez, was killed in a car accident. Now they're coming back, and their show's about finding a new member to perform on a single with them and in a concert.

Many of the reporters in the room, I can't help myself from thinking, are white people, probably 40 and up, going, "T-Boz, if I could ask a follow-up..."

T-Boz and Chili, for their part, seem like nice people. There's a brief scare when a reporter asks one of the show's producers, Jay Blumenfield, how he felt about ABC killing "Welcome to the Neighborhood." Apparently Blumenfield was an executive producer. He ducks the question, saying it's better dealt with later, I guess when there's not a microphone in his shirt.

Great blog!