NEW YORK — I don't even know what to say about this opening number sung by Earth, Wind & Fire and the Black Eyed Peas. Why do award shows change the lyrics to songs and talk about the nominees? It's awful. Jon Stewart looks mortified. Marg Helgenberger, don't dance! Stop that!

Ellen has explained the significance of the magnolias, the state flowers of both Louisiana and Mississippi. (Portia de Rossi is sitting with Ellen's family. That's kind of cute.) Ellen is trying to segue between the Katrina references and jokes. It worked fine. Now on to the jokes. "I think we all know what's really important in life: winning an Oscar."