Ellen has explained the significance of the magnolias, the state flowers of both Louisiana and Mississippi. (Portia de Rossi is sitting with Ellen's family. That's kind of cute.) Ellen is trying to segue between the Katrina references and jokes. It worked fine. Now on to the jokes. "I think we all know what's really important in life: winning an Oscar."
Hair extensions: an American epidemic. (Suspects: Marcia Cross, Lauren Graham, Kristen Bell, Halle Berry.)
Ellen is interviewing Eva Longoria, who they shoved in the nose-bleed seats as a joke. That was actually funny.
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series: William Shatner for "Boston Legal." Alan Alda faked ripped up a speech: also funny.
None of these actors have wrinkles? Why, do you think?
I repeat: Donald Trump and Megan Mullally just sang the theme song from "Green Acres." He was wearing overalls and holding a pitchfork. A friend of mine instant messaged me, writing, "I don't even know how you'll handle that."
I don't either.
Outstanding Individual Performance in a Variety or Music Program: Hugh Jackman, for his role as host of last year's Tony Awards. He's filming "X-Men 3" right now: Wolverine facial hair doesn't do him any favors when he's in a tuxedo.
The Blue Man Group did a little ... well, I can't describe it, but it had to do with reality competition taglines and televisions on their heads.
Outstanding Reality-Competition Program: "The Amazing Race" again. I love it, but that's boring.
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series, presented by Zach Braff and Hugh Laurie. Whoa, Blythe Danner for "Huff." In her speech, she said Kiefer Sutherland babysat Gwyneth. Now that's a tidbit.
Blythe Danner with the first — and possibly only — anti-war moment: "Let's get the heck out of there!"
Lauren Graham and Jennifer Love Hewitt presented the female version: Jane Alexander wins for "Warm Springs." Is Lauren Graham getting such prominent play because they know she was robbed? Because she was.
Kristen Bell is doing the theme song from "Fame." There are many things wrong with this, I will start with these: A) That was a movie first. B) I think these performances are supposed to be ironic, but they're really playing them so straight that it's hard to say. C) Don't make Kristen Bell do this! "Veronica Mars" needs to attract viewers, not repel them.
A man named Bucky Gunts won the Outstanding Directing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Program for the Olympics opening ceremony. Bucky Gunts! Perhaps someone should name their cat after this man. Any interest out there?
Now: Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music or Comedy. A parade of white men! Also known as, "The Daily Show." When Jon Stewart thanks "These guys" and gesticulates behind him at the crowd of writers, he ain't speaking metaphorically.
All of a sudden, Megan Mullally is on crutches: that's what you get for doing a musical number with Donald Trump!
David Letterman comes out, and nearly gets a standing ovation. But does Conan O'Brien look kind of annoyed?
Letterman does the Johnny Carson tribute. (I know Letterman and Carson were close, but do you think Jay Leno was considered for this job? He did, after all, inherit the "Tonight Show," no matter how Carson felt about that.) A Carson montage follows, including his singing with Bette Midler and his last "good night."
More tears.
Which went to the "Daily Show."
Now the theme from "The Jeffersons" sung by Gary Dourdan and Macy Gray, who are in front of some kind of gospel chorus — everyone on the stage is black. Is this racist? I can't tell. It's certainly humiliating.
Patricia Arquette is saying who won Outstanding Guest Actor and Actress in a Drama Series, which went to Ray Liotta and Amanda Plummer. Only he is there, which is probably best for everyone.
He presented Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series to J.J. Abrams for "Lost."
Next: Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series: David Shore, "House." Yay. "House" is so good.
From "Grey's Anatomy," Patrick Dempsey and Ellen Pompeo. She's a twig! Mary-Kate Olson could easily take her down. They present: Outstanding Directing for a Miniseries, Movie or a Dramatic Special, and Writing.
Both go to "The Life and Death of Peter Sellers." Didn't this movie get middling reviews? One of the writers thanked Peter Sellers, because without him the "movie would have been very hard to write." The middling reviews seem even more plausible.
HBO just seems to have a lock on these categories.
Jon Stewart had a funny segment about the government's response to the hurricane. And then he presented Outstanding Directing for a Comedy Series to "Desperate Housewives."
In winning Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series, Mitchell Hurwitz pointed out that it's "Arrested Development's" second win for a show that "you people won't watch." Very good point. The season premiere is tomorrow — it's not too late!
This was an upset for "Desperate Housewives," which was supposed to win this category.
This just in about Bucky Gunts: It's been pointed out to me that he won the same directing award three years ago, for the opening ceremonies of the Salt Lake City Olympic Winter Games in 2002. That's excellent news.
]]>Marg Helgenberger and Quentin Tarantino are doing best made-for-TV movie. Marg, I'm still looking at you funny since that horrible dancing at the beginning of the show. You need to win back my trust.
"Warm Springs" wins.
And now the "Star Trek" theme song for the Emmy Idol competition. William Shatner says its opening words, and then Frederica von Stade sings it.
Okay, that was funny. Now we're supposed to go to CBS.com and vote for the Emmy Idol winner. There's really only one choice — I pulled the metaphorical lever for "Star Trek."
Rather and Brokaw get a standing ovation. Both pay heartfelt tribute to Jennings. Brokaw says the three of them shared a "common commitment to the important of serious journalism." What does he think about the few hours the networks devoted to the Katrina story given its magnitude? It might have been different if any one of them was still in his chair.
And before that, PBS's "Lost Prince" won for Outstanding Miniseries. The woman who accepted the award, who wasn't identified, delivered a tasteful little speech.
He presented Felicity Huffman with an Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series, for "Desperate Housewives." Probably the first of many. She thanked Aaron Sorkin for casting her in "Sports Night." That was nice.
WHOA! Patricia Arquette wins over everyone else for Best Actress in a Drama! I don't know who the real favorite was here, but Frances Conroy and Glenn Close seemed more likely. I just wish I liked "Medium" more — then I'd be excited about the upset. She said something about both the hurricane and Iraq, but Blythe Danner's little bit still stands as the only clear anti-war statement of the night.
Dead people montage. I knew I'd cry when they got to Jerry Orbach. They ended it with him, those dirty dogs.
Same for James Spader, who also just won. Two wins in a row for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series, for playing Alan Shore — first on "The Practice," now on "Boston Legal." With the Emmys, I think it's interesting when someone quirky wins once. When it becomes a pattern, it just seems like another rut that the show gets into.
We're in the home stretch.
]]>Then, there was a miscue with Ellen and she walked off the stage before introducing Hugh Jackman and Whoopi Goldberg.
His facial hair is just freaky.
Outstanding Drama: "Lost"! Ah, the new blood. I like that the writers are so aware of "Lost" frustration that they even mention it in the acceptance speech. Still, I'm sad for "Six Feet Under," which had its best season.
Outstanding Comedy: "Everybody Loves Raymond." Phil Rosenthal kept it very short.
And then that was it! How abrupt.
In summary:
Once again, even with glacial traffic on the 101, I arrived
embarrassingly early. I am reserved to attend "North Country," but
with time to kill, I watched the crowd checking into the two movies,
trying to gauge which screening is the truly red hot ticket of Night
Two. As I watch, hyper-watted festival director Carlos de Abreu swept across the Arclight lobby shouting into his cell phone at full
furnace blast, "Yes, I understand if Angelina says yes..." Studying
the entering crowds, I decide the "Fierce People" audience looks to
be slightly higher octane than the "North"erners and that in
screening lingo "Centerpiece" clearly must be superior to "Special"
and trade in my ticket.
Before the film, there is a pre-party in the little balcony bar
upstairs. Griffin Dunne and Diane Lane are greeting guests, posing
for pics taken by a trio of photographers. I'll say this for the
Hollywood Film Festival, while you don't exactly see celebs letting
their hair down like they were in their private hot tub, the events
do seem to give ticket holders pretty unusual proximity to our
national treasures.
While I stake out the circulating hors d'ouevres (little scoops of
mashed potatoes and steak on tortilla chips, breaded chicken skewers
and the inevitable but always welcome crabcakes), I chat with Joel
Michaely, actor and noted fixture at any Hollywood party worth its
name. Michaely, (who tells me he's been killed in three horror
movies in the past three months) is at his second party of the night, having just come from Jamie Pressley's fashion show at Smashbox. (He still has one more to go before he sleeps.) Asked if he is on the
Hollywood Film Festival circuit, he tells me he didn't make it to the screening last night, but did go to the after-party at Shane Black's
house, which lasted until 4 AM and included a late night pizza
delivery and "dancing, dancing, dancing."
Tonight, he says he is here to support "Fierce" distributor Lion's Gate who "really treat people like family." We part as Donald Sutherland sweeps in, managing as few others could to pull off a black wool blazer with a red sweater tied around his neck.
The screening commences an embarrasingly-close-to-on-time 15 minutes
late. Before it starts, event staff fuss hugely about the red Xeroxed "Reserved for Lions Gate" signs which have been taped to about a third of the theater seats and are ripped off by helpful attendants before members of the Lion's Gate family sit down. Once again, I will refrain from offering my unworthy review of the film. I will merely mention that a plot twist about mid-way through the film
veers us down a much darker path than the festive pre-party prepared
us for. I suspect while watching, that the festival's bon vivant
spirit might be a little tamped down post-screening, although the
folks across the way watching Charlize fight off unwanted attentions
are sure to come out ready to party.
After the film, a reporter moderates a Q&A session with Dunne,
Lane, three of the film's young stars and novelist Dirk Wittenborn
who wrote the script and the book upon which the film was based.
Donald Sutherland, for reasons unexplained, does not participate.
Dunne speaks likably about what drew him to the material ("I like
sons of f-ed up mothers") and the diffficulties of shooting on
minimal budget, explaining that one of the key scenes was actually
shot at two separate locations. Lane, who's participation we
are told, got the movie made, says she liked that the film was "multi-layered in terms of the tapestry it creates." She also uses the word "insouciance" which is enough to win me over. The three young stars mostly stare adorably at their feet like kids forced to eat at the adults table. Wittenborn says he was inspired to write the film by growing up a poor kid hanging out with rich kids. He also warns,
appropos of the film's theme, "The people who run America disseminate this fantasy that they are ineffectual but they are not. They are
very smart and tenacious." We stand warned.
Coming out of the theater, I run into my visiting-from-Winetka
friends from last night, the Britzes, who are coming out of "North
Country" just as a Presidential motorcade-sized security cordon
sweeps Charlize to the elevator. Once again, the Britzes reviews are extremely positive, all offering big thumbs up. "An amazing movie. Very nicely done," says Sharlene. Daughter Jolene, the lawyer, however, speaks out for her professional interest group and opines that the film skimped on its courtroom scenes. Robert also weighs in that, as a business owner, while he doesn't approve of the way Charlize was treated, he can understand the mens' fears about
losing their livelihood to female competetion.
They also report that Charlize was charming, a true star, during the Q&A. But she also apparently showed a human side, joking when her mike picked up some interference that it was her stomach growling. Jolene weighs in that she seems like someone "you could see yourself going to drinks with."
Before leaving, I chat with Carlos, the festival director, who's
enthusiasm for the event bubbles over. The mixing of people from
Hollywood with people from the outside world is what it's all about
he says: "To have Charlize in one room and these independent people
across the hall." He tells the story of Director Craig Brewer who
came to town years ago when a film he made was screened. "I got him
an attorney. I got him a manager." And that Craig Brewer went on to
sweep Sundance last year as director of "Hustle & Flow." I ask De
Abreu if he is planning to make much of a speech at the black tie
gala coming up on Monday but he shakes his head vehemently. "I hate
speeches. When I see these other people making them, I get so
tired. It's our guests night, not our night."