Southern Railroad -- Griffith Park

If you simply must ride a train but you're not really concerned about getting anywhere, go to the Southern Pacific Railroad Station in Griffith park where you get off at exactly the same place you got on. The miniature train whizzes you around the track at a mind-numbing 7 miles per hour. The eight minute ride will delight your kids and slow you down to exactly the right speed for you to actually enjoy the scenery.

Head to Traveltown for the other miniature train or go catch crawdads at Ferndell, put them in your tank at home and watch them eat your goldfish.